In today’s youth sports culture, a troubling mindset has emerged—one where some players (and their parents) believe that simply showing up should guarantee opportunities. I hear it all the time:
- “You should give them a chance.”
- “It’s not fair that they don’t get to play as much.”
But here’s the reality: sports, like life, is about results.
Opportunities Must Be Earned, Not Handed Out
No coach wants to bench players. Every player on a team has the opportunity to prove they deserve more minutes, but those minutes aren’t given as a courtesy—they’re given because they’ve been earned.
Would you reward a student for simply taking a math test, or would you reward them for studying, preparing, and earning an A? Would a company hand out promotions just because someone has been there for a while, or do they promote the people who consistently produce results?
Soccer is no different. If a player gets into a game and doesn’t perform, is it fair to the rest of the team to keep giving them chances over someone who has earned it through hard work?
Performance, Not Participation, Dictates Playtime
Many parents argue that their child “deserves” more time on the field. But the reality is, a coach’s job is to put the best team on the field—not to make sure everyone feels good about their minutes.
This doesn’t mean that players who struggle should be abandoned. It means that they need to take responsibility for improving.
If your child isn’t getting the minutes they want, ask these questions:
✔ Are they working harder than their competition?
✔ Do they bring effort and intensity every training session?
✔ Are they making an impact when they do get on the field?
✔ Do they listen, improve, and execute what the coach asks?
If the answer is no, then the solution isn’t entitlement—it’s effort.
Sports Teach Life Lessons—If We Let Them
In life, there are no guarantees. You don’t get rewarded simply for existing. If we allow entitlement to creep into youth sports, we are failing our kids by giving them a false sense of how the world works.
The best gift we can give them is teaching them that results matter. Not effort alone. Not participation alone. Results.
If a player wants more time on the field, they need to prove—through performance, consistency, and attitude—that they deserve it. This lesson, learned on the field, will serve them for life.
At the end of the day, the most successful athletes—and people—are those who show up, put in the work, and take advantage of their opportunities. Nothing is given. Everything is earned.
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